What is it about seeing dad in a dream?
I never notice him right away, until the blur of dream activity suddenly lulls, the image becomes crisp and everything's in focus. Dad starts acting nervous. It's as if he tries harder to blend in and not be noticed. I stop what I'm doing, silence the voices around me, and just concentrate intensively on him. The gravity of my focus seems to weigh heavy on him, and he moves his eyes slowly in my direction without turning his head. We make eye contact, and he knows he's been discovered. He smiles, but only briefly acknowledges me before getting back to his business. Before he drifts off into the background again I hug him, and I cry. He indulges me by holding me, but doesn't let the moment last too long, as if to say, "I know, I know. But it will be alright. The time is coming..." I know he has to go, but we take a moment to delay his obligation to leave once he is singled out--and to delay my duty of confronting whatever problem the dream was initially generated solve.
The chaos of an interrupted dream catches up with us, and we are both washed over and swept away to different universes. But I wake up feeling like I received a secret message from the other side. The effect stays with me for days.
Great poem of your dream. That really helped put words to the sadness of having Dad gone, and helped me remember just how much I miss him. I struggle sometimes to just simply remember, and I look for things that help me feel sad about losing him...because it's a reality check. Sounds exactly like your dream. That was an excellent visual of how I feel.
ReplyDelete